So, I have been on the very common roller-coaster ride when it comes to fitness. I have been in life stages when I was working out all of the time, working out some, or not at all. Many of us come up with excuses and experience this never ending battle of internal dialog about "should I go?", "I'm really tired", "I'm too hungry right now." A long while back, I was watching the Ellen Show and she said something that hasn't left me, (paraphrasing of course), "there is never a time when you make yourself go work out and regret doing so afterward". I tested this theory and it is 100% true. Once you get over the mental hurdle, you're always satisfied that you pushed yourself...leaving you with an improved body and a bonus sense of accomplishment, mostly thanks to the endorphins pumping through your veins! Another great quote, "Food is the most overused anxiety drug. Exercise is the most underutilized anti-depressant." Part of this theory has been tested by many reputable scholars, including Harvard Medical School, and it has proven to be very useful for people suffering from depression and anxiety. Click here for the article. So, if getting slim and toned wasn't enough of an incentive, it definitely does wonders to improve your overall sense of well being.,,among a host of other benefits.
This particular entry is in response to one of the top excuses or reservations I hear from clients, "I hate the gym" and/ or "I can't afford a gym membership". A solution: explore the opportunities of working out at home! What I love about this task is that it alleviates many of the concerns about working out: child care, shortage of time, finances, physical insecurities, and creeps who lurk and loiter. There are SO many affordable and free options these days-- you can't avoid getting at least 15 minutes in a day. Your heart and body will thank you for it. Some of my favorite options are Daily Burn, Body Building, and many YouTube personalities geared towards women and men. What's great about Daily Burn and Body Building is that they both offer customized training programs for your personal fitness goals and track you along the way. I am currently a Daily Burn subscriber and really enjoy it so far! (Love pilates with Andrea Speir.) You even get to decide on your workout, based on if you just have time for 15 minutes, 30, or more. When you sign up, you get a 30 day trial and it costs $12.99 a month after. (This is the only option that costs anything but you don't have to pay an initial membership fee and can cancel at any time, without penalties.) Some of these options do require access to more equipment than others-- so, depending on what you choose, you could be looking at an affordable, one-time investment for basics like a yoga mat, dumbbells, and a medicine ball. All of these class videos are accessible on a computer, apps for most smartphones, and/or TV, if it's connected to your internet. Lastly, another option: you can kick it old school with some classic workout videos! I love Mari Winsor pilates DVDs and you can't go wrong with Billy Blanks Tae Bo...actually, I guess you can go wrong if you have certain mobility problems. Which reminds me, I should probably put this out there just in case: if you are considering a new exercise routine and have health concerns, I suggest that you ask your doctor before pursuing. There, I am legally off the hook now : ) I have personally tested all of these forms of at-home fitness entertainment (with the exception of all of the YouTube channels) and have had a lot of fun with them and think you will too! Getting into a routine is your best bet-- so, if you can, I would suggest deciding on weekly standing dates with yourself. Pick designated days and a specific time slot to just decide you WILL be showing up. Also a fun option: grab a friend, or a handful of friends, and rotate hosting a fitness date! This is an especially awesome option for moms who could take advantage of the double opportunity to fit in a fun workout together, while letting their kids enjoy a play date. A mind hack I love to use when I'm really tired is that I tell myself I'll just work out for 15 minutes. 100% of the time, I'll exceed that time limit. BUT, even just 15 minutes a day will impact your fabulous physique. Do you have a home routine that you love? Please share below! Update: While I do love some of these virtual trainers, I am not always totally in love with most of their diet recommendations. Daily Burn is okay, but I am a firm believer that vegetables should really be emphasized during each meal. If you would like specific personal recommendations, I would be happy to help!
0 Comments
Growing up, weekends were for chores, errands, and play and Sundays were for church, lunch, and naps. Even if you're not a particularly religious person, the weekend, in many cultures and religions hold our day of rest, or "Sabbath". Why it's consistently practiced by many (including those who practice Wicca, apparently) is because it's so very necessary. We all need at least one day to reset our body.
Some of us have different ideas and and ideals when it comes to this rest and reset thing. While I am not about to bash anyone who has a weekly tradition of "Sunday Funday" (a carafe of mimosas followed by a Bloody Mary buffet), I do want to touch on one thing...this one thing has nothing to do with moral fiber! Unless you are as mystical as a unicorn and can tolerate copious amounts of alcohol without feeling the aftermath of blahness and compromised productivity on Monday morning, this doesn't pertain to you. But, those of you who are in the majority and don't fall into this somewhat miraculous category: for the sake of your wonderful self, if you do participate in this tradition and it has you feeling a little blue, empty, or debilitated, maybe reconsider it. There's nothing wrong with a few mimosas, but if any voluntary activity happens to come with a negative backlash, in any shape or form, I wholeheartedly hope that you try to tap into your motive and see if it can be satisfied with a more beneficial pastime. The weekend is for nurturing yourself. What that means to you is probably completely different from the next person, but just be sure it is actually helpful or encouraging in your development. I am also not going to suggest that people forgot scrumptious stacks of pancakes on Saturday morning or Sunday afternoon chicken fried steaks, but I will just put the thought in your head: while allowing your body to rest on the weekend, maybe giving your intestines a day of rest could be equally valuable? We put loads of responsibility on our livers, depending on what we eat and drink, and autoimmunity starts in the gut. Do I fast every Sunday? Nope, I don't. While fasting is probably the optimum choice for most, I rarely go that extreme, but I also never dub the weekend my "cheat days". I think that can be a slippery slope and I believe that working to achieve balance is always the perfect long-term and short-term goal. (If you're interested in learning how to make healthier alternatives to things like pancakes and chicken fried steak, I'm your girl and would love to schedule a complimentary consultation to chat about how I can help you with your lifestyle goals and any other related interests you may have!) So, to tie this all together. The purpose of this blog is to give you the opportunity to refine yourself from the inside out via forms of self-care-- so that you can step out into this world as the optimized version of yourself. Redefining your days of rest is the perfect chance for you to ask yourself if you're needing some down time because maybe the week was hectic or, maybe, you're needing to make up for not exerting yourself enough during the week and need some face time? (...and by "face time", I don't mean FaceTime.) Maybe you need to take these days to play catch-up on FUN or catch up on sleep? What is your idea of rest or reset?...while keeping with the nurturing side of self-care. Please share in the comment space below! (Also, for those of you in the world of retail, restaurants, etc., I am not leaving you out! I know your schedule may be inconsistent but consistently during the weekends. So, your weekday off is still considered your day of reset.) While I know how important consistency is on a blog, I also hold the very important responsibilities of working full-time and devoting myself thoroughly to my IIN studies! I try to post each week, but, sometimes, that just doesn't happen....which is why I feel the need to remind you to give yourself grace, patience, and a break. Let's just say this topic is autobiographical. Giving yourself grace is an extremely important form of love. Exercising forgiveness and avoiding that inner voice of criticism and shame is one of the most freeing and generous gifts you can give yourself (and to other people). The "shoulds" and "buts" hold no real value if you're A. Referring to the past and/or B. Are already trying. You know your heart. So, stop thinking about "buts" and quit "shoulding" all over yourself! It's not conducive or supportive to your bigger picture-- especially if you're already living by the "bird by bird" task protocol. There's only so much we can accomplish in a day. Life can be heavy, there's no room for shame-- just learn, assess your actions, and try something differently next time. Most of all, cut yourself some slack. A personal example: instead of criticizing myself about not writing consistent blog entries, I am deciding to use this as fuel to make a little change. I now know that instead of attempting to write and post these each week, I am going to write multiples when I am in a writing mood and/or if I get a bunch of ideas at once, and voila! Something a little less taxing, still productive, and I am going to let myself off the hook (guilt free) because, moving forward, I will be doing things differently. See, that's true love and self-care! Given the theme of this form of self-care, I am going to give myself a break and keep this short and sweet. I was going to go into the health reasons as to why it is important to avoid shaming and criticizing yourself, but I'm going to bake instead. If you would like the information on how negative thinking really and truly makes an impact on your body: premature aging, imbalanced hormones, anxiety, etc. and the magnificent power of your thoughts and words, enter your email below and I will e-mail you some really fascinating resources! I have consistently had the struggle to keep it all together. Not that keeping it all together is even really possible. There's this wonderful quote I recently heard saying something like "even the person who has all of their shit together is still standing in it". Nonetheless, keeping it together has always been something I strived for. This term, in short, pretty much means keeping up appearances, consistently. It also means having more days when you, your home, your car, habits, and routine look polished, well-oiled, and productive and less days when you look and live like a slob kabob. It's not so much for vanity's sake but I truly believe that once you routinely incorporate the steps it takes to "keep it together", (the same steps that also just so happen to result in a visibly pleasing outcome), you show up in life with your best foot forward...boldly and enthusiastically. That type of energy attracts all sorts of wonderful and then, the domino effect commences! Once you master one thing, you're more likely to be mindful of another, and since that feels so good, why not add a few other feel-good accomplishments to the pile?! I am lucky enough to have a handful of fabulous friends. This group of people, like me, regularly discusses how they need to get back into their gym routine, or they need to get some color on their skin, or they need to make a habit of a spiritual practice: church, meditation, etc! We all have some pretty hectic schedules...especially compared to what it was like in high school. Living in the grown up world of consistent jobs, errands, bills, and priorities that keep the lights on and a roof over our heads takes up a majority of our adult day. While we can't walk away from those necessary priorities, or "adulting", we can make sure we still give ourselves the attention we deserve. Yes, life gets hectic but in the grand scheme of things, if you're too busy working your ass off, it's not that you can't afford to master self-care, but, really, you can't afford to not to master self-care. A chance to recoup and honor yourself with some daily love is as valuable as it gets. What is all of that hard work really for if you don't enjoy your everday? Time is precious, yes, but I think serving yourself a nice, hot slice of "you" time on the daily will not only have an impact on your happiness, but, also, your income! Those daily treats, in the long run, can make you even more productive because of that wonderful sense of clarity that comes with regulated cortisol (the stress hormone). So, my idea. This year, I am going to debut a new blog series called 365 Days of Self-Care: How to Make 2016 Your Bitch. (I apologize if profanity offends anyone but the title made me laugh too hard not to use it.) This series will focus on the many forms of self-care that you can treat yourself with on the daily. I have gathered the consensus that many people have massive reservations about making resolutions because they don't want to set themselves up for failure. I get it. You've set these goals before and end up feeling defeated before the end of January. I've been there too. With this series, you're not setting yourself up for any realm of failure because you can incorporate one form of daily TLC that will take you very little time and will contribute to your bigger picture...you becoming even more awesome! To be honest, I am looking forward to this as a form of accountability. I have mastered clean eating & listening to my body, I am in the ever-evolving process of honoring myself, and now, I would like to treat myself like I deserve to be treated via pampering, love, and FUN! So, please join me in this pursuit! Expect a lot of embarrassing videos, exciting tutorials, hopefully some pounds shed, stress melted, healthy habits adopted, and delicious recipes tasted! Can't wait! Want to be all in? Sign up below for my monthly newsletter that's packed with lifestyle tips, recipes, and positive support! *photo cred TTFMag To love yourself means to look forward. Not to only think in the future tense but to continue to look at your bigger picture. To really wait, check in with yourself, your day, your thoughts and make sure they're in line with your core values, loves, and life purpose. Ask: "Does my day contribute to my bigger picture?", "Do the things I do throughout my day support me in making those decisions?" To really succeed in life is to live a life honoring yourself. You won't stand a fighting chance unless you LISTEN.
If you're lucky enough to have intuition, or the natural ability to hear your inner guide, don't take it for granted. If this is a foreign concept to you, you too can be "in touch". You just need to practice yielding. Obtaining and maintaining balance is only an arms length away. As easily as you can push it away, you can pull it back in. One of the primary ways to reach balance is by eating for nourishment. (By the way, eating purely for nourishment doesn't mean you've abandoned eating for enjoyment. The two can actually coexist!) If you wholeheartedly strive to avoid unfavorable habits and consuming hindrances that limit your chances to thrive, you're 12 steps ahead. When you consistently interrupt that inner guide with the "yeah, but" excuses and allowances, you know good and well that that rebellious behavior can keep you imbalanced, keeping you from a life of ease and flow. The beautiful rhythm that God offers down to us. Can you imagine what your life could look like if you stayed in God's rhythm, or took cues from your inner guide? If every time you got slightly distracted from your symphony or felt temped to stop and stray down that path of resistance, you kept looking forward with blind faith? When really, it isn't blind faith at all because you are built with the intuitive knowledge to know that food, music, people, art, television all can generate either positive or negative energy within our lives. Imagine all of the things in the world as one of the two color categories of energy: dark and light. The more dark energy you surround yourself with, feed yourself, and create, the lower your light fades. Now think of yourself as a battery. That same energy, dark and light, represent the dark energy that drains you and the light energy that feeds and sustains you. Each time you participate in dim, draining activities: eating foods that require your body to detox on overdrive, throwing off your hormones, energy level, and your system's wellbeing, watching too much TV, spending beyond your means, keeping friends who display toxic behavior or conversation, staying in a job that makes you dread waking up each morning...all of those contribute to draining your battery. Then, you have the things that make life lovely: balanced foods, exercise, nature, drinking plenty of water, playing with animals, reading good literature, spending time with supportive and uplifting friends and family, your favorite coffee shop, travel...all of those activities, big and small, that contribute to breathing life back into you. Now, think about your battery. Do you spend most of your time doing things that drain you or that feed you? Are you feeling like you're currently on empty or in the negative? Write down a list of the things that make you thrive. Even though some of us aren't living in the means of worldly riches, we can still live in abundance. Most of us have responsibilities like work, errands, house work, etc. but if we look for ways to infuse our day with the energizing activities that feed us, we won't feel depleted. This will also show the oh-so-wonderful y.o.u. that you're worth setting aside 10 minutes of each lunch break to enjoy the outdoors, or implementing a daily tea time, or admitting to yourself that by limiting the amount of TV you watch, you can nurture yourself by doing something a little more productive. Most of us watch television to vacate. Maybe sitting with yourself in silence and getting something accomplished will eventually make you want to stay in your body more, so that you don't feel the need to vacate. It is so valuable to push yourself to carve out the time to do things that may not naturally be activities we enjoy, but that contribute to our core values and goals. Cooking my not be your favorite thing in the world. You may even detest it, but making sure you plan out your meals each week not only contributes to your appearance, but, also, your daily stamina, productivity, etc. To go even deeper, it will contribute to the longevity and quality of your lifeline so it's not just a gift to yourself, but your family. Those are the things that will give us that added energy to make another positive decision, moving us in the right direction, to that beautiful, one of a kind, God-given rhythm. The general struggle that comes up for most people is the generated by the belief that they are not in control of their body. They were never able to fully subscribe to this way of living because they've had a lifelong battle with their cravings and their cravings have always won. Well, I have some great news for you. Cravings aren't actually the opposing force keeping you away from creating balance. Cravings are actually our bodies way of telling us that a shift needs to be made in order to maintain/ reach balance. Before you start thinking, "oh, so if I crave dessert, that's my body telling me I need cookies in order to feel balanced?", you need to sit with the truth that many of us look to food to satiate the general craving for pleasure or relaxation. The cool part about this is that once you're honed in on honoring your primary needs in life: relationships, exercise, quiet time, etc., you magically quit feeling plagued or controlled by crazy cravings because you're able to decipher if your body is saying you have a nutrient deficiency (which is the primary purpose for cravings) or because you have a fun/ love/ touch/ exercise/ self-care/ spirituality deficiency. (i.e. low battery) Not only will you soon experience the light and airy feeling you get from adopting a cleaner lifestyle, but, also, a freeing notion that you're actually doing everything within your control to feel good and be the best version of yourself-- which is the utmost rewarding sense of accomplishment. When things don't go your way and are beyond your control, you can rest assured that all you CAN do is let it go because you've covered the bases. When my life was in disarray and I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong to have attached myself to this dim reality, I refused to accept that dead-end feeling. I decided I would take control of every area of my life that I could control-- the areas of my life that God wouldn't dispute was the right or wrong move. Exercise, eating well, getting sleep, limit my drinking, etc. I figured those were the things I would invest my energy on and doing so would HAVE to have a positive impact on my present reality. Everything else, all of the negative things you can't control take a backseat and become secondary because you are purely focused on that positive rhythm. Regardless of your religious beliefs, I don't think anyone could dispute this mindset for a little soul makeover. In my experience, this is when my life started to take a complete shift in a positive direction. When I began to quit resisting and take direction from my inner voice/ intuition/ God/ subconscious/ "self"/ Universe, whatever you want to refer to it as. So, now is your time to decide and ask yourself: "are the activities and thoughts I participate in each day conducive to my big picture?" Are you giving yourself daily doses of the most important supplement of all, vitamin L? (LOVE.) Taking steps in the right direction may not feel what's most natural in the beginning, just like learning to waltz, but I assure you, that when you listen to your inner instructor and keep practicing, you will slowly begin to feel ease and fluency with each beautiful move you make. When you're in balance, the steps you make in life will become set in motion to that sweet, symphonic rhythm. Happy New Year! In the comments below, share what feeds your battery and will contribute to bettering your new year! In society today, it's really hard not to get wrapped up in things and, not just things, but STUFF. I grew up working retail. I wanted to get the experience needed in order to become a fashion stylist.
Working with beautiful merchandise on a daily basis is nothing to complain about. But, soon, you can slip into a repetitive mentality, thinking you need to acquire things that will "successfully represent” your A. status, if you've "made it" (or to portray that you have), B. Your availability to a potential suitor(s), C. Your fashion-savvy in the world of new and established designers, and/or D. Your mood. In that type of environment, you become the best salesperson in the world and, not only to your clients, but, mostly, to yourself. (As an example of how well I refined this art, I sold over one million dollars in clothing in less than a year.) Not to say being the best salesperson would make you dishonest, but practicing justifications becomes an art that you wholeheartedly start to believe. I would joke with coworkers while holding close a gorgeous expensive bag, asking them if it made me look cooler and if it would make them want to be my friend more. Partially joking, but, also, touching on a deep realization that really, it wasn't so much about appreciating the art of fashion as it was having the power over people and their idea of you. While going to college in LA, I worked at a fabulous boutique on Robertson Blvd. I would scan through the racks, painting scenarios of the perfect place to wear each piece. Only, it wasn't a real opportunity I had coming up that would require the outfit, it was the outfit that would CREATE that ideal scenario. Almost like a scene from an ad, I would see me dressed to a “T", my friends, a lot of attractive guys, all sitting around a bonfire on the beach. As if, if I bought this item, that scenario would inevitably come into existence. Laughable and slightly embarrassing to admit out loud? Of course! But, deep down, don't we all imagine ourselves pulling up to brunch in the perfect car or how that room full of people will perceive your fancy status in that new amazing outfit? They say you can't make a second first impression. From a very young age, I began to realize what it took to fit in and that your clothing had a huge impact on how "well" you could achieve that. After a period of heavy soul searching, I was able to put the pieces of my life puzzle together. I started understanding that why I had wanted to be a fashion stylist since age twelve had a lot to do with the way a styled outfit made people feel about themselves. I first started styling friends and family and, eventually, got to work with big names in Los Angeles. (You would think working with celebrities would be the ultimate, but it didn't take long for me to realize that the last thing most of those people needed was to feel any better about themselves.) What I didn't understand, until later, was that my love for styling didn't start with how it made other people feel good, it was how it made me feel good, accepted, and confident. Recently, I hit a bit of a low point financially after taking a 6-month hiatus from working. I wasn't able to acquire the most current looks of the season and I truthfully felt pretty horrible about myself. I spent a lot of time with people who would make mention of certain luxuries and, somehow, I felt like I fell short like I was inadequate and somewhat of a failure because I looked as if I wasn't aware of what was on-point and didn't have the success that would accompany the financial means to "properly" arm myself. Did those people think that of me? I have no idea. Most of it was in my head and, not only did those feelings almost startle me, they forced me to dig deep. I didn't want to be defined by stuff. I have never ever been a "label whore". I genuinely appreciate designers for their craft, not their names and used to make a point of it, seeking out alternatives to the more exposed labels. After clarifying my motives for wrongly demoting myself from a stylish and respectable twenty-something to a poor, disheveled old maid, I slowly began to fall in love with fashion, again, for the art of it. I also started to rediscover my passion for helping people invent and fine-tune their personal style and amplified self. Style isn't materialistic and, although I am sure many people would disagree, style isn't even superficial if (and this is a big if) you have things in the right perspective. I have worked with people who have never given clothing much thought as if they didn't want to join the fashion sheep cult, not that I totally blame them these days. Just within the past 10 years, I feel like fashion has become something else. With the rise of bloggers, social media fame, and mega-celebrity, people see fashion in a whole new light which can be very daunting for some and, also, very misleading. Most fashion bloggers aren't just selling a style, they're selling a lifestyle-- A life of leisure, lox, lattes, and Louboutins. Many of these individuals were born into a life of luxury or they've created such a following that they receive a majority of their looks (and lifestyle) for free from designers hoping to get some exposure-- faking it until they make it. I don't know about you, but, if Instagram is considered a modern art form, I want my art to imitate life vs. life imitating art. I am in no way dogging fashion and lifestyle bloggers out there! I have many friends who do it well, but, again, it's all about perspective. While working for a fashion magazine in LA, I thought I had hit the epitome of where I wanted to be until I went to a fashion PR house to pull some clothes for a shoot. The girls who worked there acted as if they had the most important job in the entire world and had no time for social courtesies (or decencies). That's when I saw the cold side of fashion. This side wasn't bettering anyone, but shuffling them into a folder, categorized by social class which, really, made people feel poorly about themselves and no where near better! You may have already been asking yourself this question as you read this article, but it's smart to start tapping into where you stand in the world of fashion and ask yourself, "what level of importance does fashion hold in my life?" Does your motivation to shop (on the appropriate amount of occasions) come from a healthy, light-hearted place? Most of us actually don't need much of anything in the way of clothes. Do you agree with this statement or do you struggle putting things that you really shouldn't buy back on the rack? There are the shopaholics and there are the I-will-break-out-in-hives-if-I-step-into-a-clothing-store-ics. Just because you take pride in your appearance, doesn't mean you're a sellout or a conformist or have a problem. We all need to honor ourselves and project ourselves in a way that's aligned with just how great we are and what we step out in each day is a pretty sound vehicle to get there. I have never tried to push someone out of their comfort zone unless it meant 1. they were still being true to themselves and 2. they felt good about the outcome; (and, frequently, I would need to nudge middle-aged women who didn't think they could pull off a look because they clearly had a distorted body image and I wanted to enlighten them). I am speaking to everyone: introverts, extroverts, males, females, and this especially rings true for Highly Sensitive People. I have come across many articles about the vast array of endless options that can sometimes overwhelm a HSP. But, the truth is, a HSP may be the person who really should consider tapping into this kind of self-care. To all of my Highly Sensitive and/or Introverts: there is nothing wrong with finding yourself in a noisy social setting and being the reserved person in the room vs. the butterfly working the room. Playing "getting to know you" isn't fun for a lot of people and the silver lining is you may not have to say much in a group setting because your clothes say a lot for you! This could be the good news or the bad news, depending on your confidence level with your wardrobe. It's not about drinking the "cool"-aid. It's realizing the reality that making a first impression does have a lot to do with the clothes you wear. It may not be optimum but, statistically, it's the truth. (This little truth is a great example of "knowledge is power" and can be a valuable thing to consider before those important first impressions including a job interview, a big date, loan interview, etc.) So, all of these jumbled thoughts and points narrowed down: self-expression means "the assertion of one's own personality". Many could get caught up in materialism by way of shopping with negative or unhealthy intention. Maybe it's because of poor body image, lack of confidence, or just feeling down on yourself altogether. Although clothes aren't the solution, they are the medium for one of the most present forms of self-expression. Empower yourself. Take advantage of that first-impression society tidbit and start asking yourself, “What does my wardrobe say about me?" Do you feel as if your personal style reflects your personality accurately? I know some of you may be thinking, "write me a big enough check and I can correct that pretty quickly!" but the truth is, you can successfully exercise your self-expression on a VERY tight budget. Believe me, I have been there. Once you zero in on your personal style, you can find the right pieces anywhere, from Walmart to the Salvation Army. If zeroing in on your style seems like a large feat, this is when a fashion stylist comes into play. If you have a family member or friend whose style you admire, ask him or her for some assistance. If you can manage it, professional stylists are very helpful to work with, especially when you're always on the go and you like the perks of coming home with everything already decided for you. Just imagine waking up and getting dressed without the stress that's involved in figuring out what to wear. If you feel like your closet is pretty solid but you still feel like you have nothing to wear, this would be another opportune time to consider having a stylist take a look at how to revise your closet layout and put together different ensembles with your classic items you don't feel the need to part with. Fashion can be very beneficial to your wellness or it can be detrimental. If you idolize it too much and put more emphasis on it that it deserves, you could be in an endless state of never having enough, always comparing and constantly striving for more stuff. Having done all of this, I have come full circle. I have seen what happens when you put an unrealistic inflation on the role that fashion plays in your life. It shouldn't define you or your self-worth. It shouldn't be your idea of the material catalyst, elevating you to the socially acceptable status, because you're not enough on your own. On the flip side, I have also seen what a healthy dose of fashion-savvy can do. It can be a positive bump to your self-esteem, allow you to be creative and make the most of an outing, it can be that added edge you needed to get the sought-after job you've always wanted, and, the most important benefit, it can contribute to that inner confidence that radiates out of your pores! Need the name of a good stylist? I would love to apply for the job! As the trees start to lose their leaves, it is an almost poetic reminder to let go of things that are dead or no longer doing us a service anymore. This can pertain to a few things like habits and people, but, today, I am going to touch on STUFF. We all have things, but what goes in the category "stuff" are the things that no longer serve a purpose in our home, other than taking up space. Many studies have been done that prove that by removing excess, our productivity levels go up. I'm not going to go into consumerism, but, by doing an annual home detox, it can have a hefty influence on shopping habits, saving you money, because, sometimes, the hardest things to get rid of are the things you never got use out of. Surveying those items will allow you to avoid the same pitfalls of buying items just in case you need them or for future events or projects you foresee maybe doing, but aren't on the immediate horizon. 1. Clothing. I'm starting with clothing because this is what many of my clients (and I) have had the biggest weakness with. Many specialists suggest applying the "if you haven't worn it in six months, get rid of it" rule, while weeding out your closet. I am a rarity because I don't agree. Just because you haven't worn something in six months doesn't necessarily mean it's not worth keeping. A clothing item's relevance can change from season to season. If you bought a pair of quality wide-leg jeans that fit you perfectly and the next year, you see that skinnies are what you're gravitating towards, it doesn't mean that next season wide-legs will still be out. In fact, they could be the very style that you are dying to wear. That's when you realize that if you had parted with them, you would have to go on the ultimate search to find that same type of pant and, alas, you get stuck in the consumerism trap. Keep quality classics. I am a firm believer that your closet should be a nice balanced mix of price points. Usually, that means you will have a combination of quality pieces and, as I call them, "one hit wonders". When it comes to purchasing a blazer, classic cut denim, tailored shirts, etc., go for the pieces that will practically pay for themselves with as much wear as you end up getting out of them. Buy items that will be worth the investment and once they start to look a little tattered, remind yourself that they had a nice life and (quickly) send them to retirement at your local charity drop-off. For the trendier, more elaborate items, try your best to find less expensive alternatives. Those are the pieces that lose their thunder after one season or a few nights out with the same crowd. You will feel much less of a sting parting with them when you realize that look has run its course or it's starting to fall apart only after a few wears. Another pro to this technique is, if you really reason with yourself and admit you'll only wear it a handful of times, you can decide to part with it sooner. This increases your chances of getting a little money back for it at a consignment or resale shop and will then reduce the amount of work you'll have to do during your annual purge. Poshmark is also a new favorite resource of mine. It's a super simple app where you can immediately shoot and post the items you want to part with. The thing I do suggest is creating a personal deadline for the item to sell. If you pass the deadline, find an alternative to get it gone! (Sign up with code GRDRE to save $5!) So, while weeding through your closet, I have devised a little mental routine. If you land on an item you're unsure of, figure out if it lies in the category of: Quality + trendy: part with it if it's been a year since you've worn it. Quality + classic: part with it only if you can really never see yourself wanting to wear it again and you haven't worn it in over a year. Cheaper + trendy: part with it if you even pause for a second on it while sifting. Cheaper + classic: part with it if it's showing its quality or if you haven't worn it in a year. Another great tip is if you're at odds with letting something go, ask yourself, "what would I wear this to?" Once you answer, ask "if I were going to _____, would this be the piece I would want to wear over everything else in my closet?" If the answer is no, let it go. These rules also pertain to accessories and jewelry. For the sentimental pieces, keep no more than five of them. It sounds harsh, but, really, that item doesn't hold special power, it's the memory attached to it that's special. Take a picture of it so that you can get that warm feeling when you see it again and find a better home for it. 2. Crafts and office supplies - You don't want abandoned projects staring back at you. Not only will you maybe feel a small sense of failure because you never completed it, you will also feel that pressure of getting back to it so that you're not out the money you spent on it. Do yourself a favor, donate or sell it and utilize that energy towards something you WILL happily complete and succeed in. As far as office supplies goes, if it's dated paperwork, shred it and recycle it. If you have 50 pens, donate at least 35 of them. If you have a lifetime supply of stationary or notepads, you don't have to toss even half of it but try to narrow it down. I used to buy those "just in case" greeting cards in case of a birthday emergency of some sort. I recently went through my pile and more than half of them weren't something I would give to anyone anymore. Case in point, buy as you go. 3. Old magazines and books - Outdated decor or fashion books: part with. Those styles may come back around again, but, usually, they will incorporate updated classics. Books that were a gift and you don't feel like diving into probably aren't worth keeping. The sentiment is wonderful and I don't think this is for every book, but if the content of the book is of no real interest to you and it isn't something that even touched you when you received it, it's okay to let it go. A book that you have already read doesn't need to be on your shelf unless you know for a fact you'll read it again. If anything, give it to a friend if it was a book you enjoyed that much. Up until recently, I was all about keeping magazines. I used to keep every fashion magazine that came into my grasp. Then, I narrowed it down to just keeping special ones and all of my Allures from 1999-2014. Then, I narrowed down my Allures. I finally settled on tearing out the special pages in all of my picked over publications and began putting them in a portfolio for stored inspiration. Another great option is taking a picture of the page or scanning it and adding it to something like Evernote, Google Drive, or Pinterest. I am pretty old school so I like tactile things, making the portfolio a nice compromise for me. It took me a good few years to get this down because they were (clearly) hard to part with for some reason. I do sound a little crazy but I HAD to add method to my madness. If this process is difficult for you-- make it work. Add little incentives like if you weed through x, you will go get a pedicure. An even bigger incentive: imagine these items being put to good use again by someone who truly needs or wants them; anything that will spark the urge to let go of unnecessary build up in, what is supposed to be, your sacred space. Now, take a deep breath and release! Need a little push? Try this challenge! Sometimes, when we are experiencing a difficult day or season in our lives, we think we deserve to splurge a little. Maybe start our Monday morning with a few doughnuts, pick up some take-out after a long day of work, or enjoy a bag of chips on the couch, just to unwind. While it's definitely necessary to make sure we are taking care of ourselves daily and become especially nurturing when we're going through hard times, we need to sit and reflect on how we can truly honor ourselves. Those fleeting and temporary moments when we are enjoying the release we experience while eating something that's good, but not good for us, in the long run, you're really only masking the upset. Don't get me wrong. I know eating a treat during a stressful day can sometimes be extremely effective to make the situation subside, bringing you to a “happy place”. I used to have a tea and cookies break at 4 pm almost every day. But, clearly, that wasn’t something that was conducive to living a healthy life and it wasn’t really helping me since the "fix" was so short-lived.
My challenge for you: check in with yourself during one of those moments when you're seeking release with food, (or shopping, alcohol, etc.) and ask, "What is really going on right now that is making me want to splurge on ______________?" "How can I really serve myself in this time of need?" When you think big picture, you will realize that there may be some inner work you need to focus on. If you need to let off steam or you’re feeling depressed, go exercise. If you are stressed and need an escape, try a new delicious clean recipe that will encourage a healthier lifestyle. Or, maybe, read or watch a funny TV show. Any positive replacement or real solution that will help serve that inner urge, not just mask it. Again, bigger picture. 10 minutes of enjoyment while eating a snack that has negative long-term effects on your health? Or, a healthy alternative that will not only quiet that inner voice and craving, but, also, will generate a positive outcome! (Weight loss, increased energy, clear mind, etc!) If you’re on the go and want to enjoy a little refreshment, grab a water or tea and flavor it with lemon and a few drops of stevia. That may not sound like a treat but the more you train yourself to entertain alternatives and realize that “it” really is a temporary fix, you’ll see that "it" is really not much more than a placebo. Those of you who are addicted to sugar and have candida overgrowth will realize something similar but it’s no joke that you could be experiencing withdrawals. In that case, remember that it’s not you who “needs” the sugar, it’s the bacteria that is wanting to multiply and wreak havoc in your system. Taking this a step further, here is another technique that has helped me and continues to help me make good decisions. When I have plans to go to the gym or skip out on that pile of dishes or laundry, I check in with myself asking “Why don’t I want to get that done?” Most of the time, I will find that it has been a taxing week or the weather isn’t ideal and I think, “I want to treat myself to a work-free morning/evening.” And while sometimes it is extremely necessary to not only give yourself a little break but many little breaks or pauses throughout the day, I will realize, to really genuinely serve myself, I will get at least one of those tasks completed. Not only will it give me a sense of accomplishment, but, it will also keep my world of wellness in alignment and that’s a bigger favor that I can do for myself than having an overly restful morning or evening…that’s not even really restful because I’m thinking about what I should be doing. Give it a try. You may surprise your body, mind, AND soul! : ) |
Archives
May 2020
Categories
All
|